NASCAR 2016
by mvboys2
Summary: What would happen if Sonic and friends raced in NASCAR? Rated T for drugs.
1. The Day That Changed Everything

NASCAR 2016: One hell of a year.

Chapter 1. The day that changed everything.

The day was January 16th, 2016. The time: 6:30 PM.

Brian France was organizing a meeting of NASCAR's board of directors in Charlotte, NC.

"We have been experiencing several troubles recently. Ratings have been going downhill, sponsors are leaving, and now some drivers are jumping ship to Indycar. We need to do something to stop the spiral. How did this all begin?" Asked Brainless Brian.

"I think it was when we made the Sprint 60 Unlimited part of Ford Championship Week. People want to see actual racing, not tweeting for the win". Said Robin Pemberton.

"Or maybe it was when started adding cautions every 20 laps during last year's Chase." Said Mike Helton.

"Or maybe it was when Zach Buckner started doing the commentary". Said Steve O'Donnell.

"You guys are all wrong!" Blurted out Brian. The reason why NASCAR is dying is because we don't have enough gimmicks! We need to add more! Let the fans vote on eliminations! Let the jet dryers race during rain delays! Make a NASCAR reality TV show and air it every week! Give the fans what they want!" Said Brian.

"But sir, that isn't what the fans-" Robin started.

"QUIET!" Interrupted Brian. "It's what we want. Add field inversions! Stunt jumps! Reset the points to zero before the final race for everyone!"

"But this will just turn our fans away!"

"But it will bring in more!"

"Stop arguing!" The directors were shocked to find Jeff Gordon in the room. "This is exactly why I retired from NASCAR in the first place. All these new gimmicks have been driving me crazy! Dale Jr hasn't been the same since Zach started calling him DJ Craze! Before every race, he mopes in the corner, saying how he wishes the nightmare would end!"

"You would have retired either way. You announced it before we added the new gimmicks" Said Brian.

"I guess you have a good point." And Jeff left the conference room.

"If only there was some miracle that would bring NASCAR back to its glory days."

Suddenly, they heard a colossal noise. "What was that?" Steve asked.

They saw Mike Helton standing by the window, shaking and pale. "You guys better look outside." He nervously stated before fainting.

"What is it Mike?"

The people stood up and walked over to the window of the small room. What they saw almost made them faint as well.


	2. Rolling Around At The Speed Of Sound

Chapter 2: Rolling Around At The Speed Of Sound.

Outside their window, off in the distance, a large portal had opened up in the sky! People walking down the street stood and gasped. Brian and the others did too. In the distance, Brian could see creatures falling out of the portal.

"What's happening?!" Said Mike Helton, who had regained consciousness.

"I don't know!" said Robin.

Out the window, they could see the creatures advancing closer and closer.

"We have to run!" said Brian.

And so they did. They quickly flew out of the conference room, and rushed through the hall as fast as they could.

"Hurry and get to the elevator!"

When they got to the elevator, they saw a big OUT OF ORDER sign on it.

"Take the stairs!" Screamed Mike.

They ran down the stairs. The only problem was that there was 60 flights, and one of the creatures had super speed…

As they were still 30 flights away from the bottom, they bumped into them so hard they fell over.

As Brian and the group got up, they saw the creatures standing in front of them!

"Who are you and what do you want from us?" Asked Brian.

"I'm Sonic. Sonic The Hedgehog!" "This is Tails, Amy, Knuckles, and Sticks!" They waved in succession.

"Wait. THE Sonic The Hedgehog? I thought you were a fictional character!"

"Yes I was. But you see, I and my friends have decided to enter the real world to right what is wrong with NASCAR." Said Sonic.

"How do you expect to do that?" Asked Robin.

"Well first off, we sent Zach Buckner to our world. He's tormenting Eggman as we speak.

Meanwhile in Sonic world…

"I think I'll call you Grandaddy-E." Said Zach Bucker.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" Said Dr. Eggman.

Back in the real world…

"Also, we would like to drive in your series. We would bring some much needed zing and excitement to your series." Said Sonic.

"But you can't drive in our series!" "You're not even human! There has to be something about this in actions detrimental to stock car racing!" Said Mike.

"But it will give a much needed boost in the all-mighty ratings!" Said Brian.

"OK Fine. We'll let you race, but we need to keep you're identities secret. We will disguise you as some of our rising rookie stars. " Said Mike.

"Sonic, you'll be Chase Elliott."

"Tails, you'll be Ryan Blaney."

"Amy, you'll be Brian Scott."

"Knuckles, you'll be Ty Dillon."

"And Sticks, you'll be… Umm… James Buscher".

"But what about the real drivers?" asked Tails.

"They will get the memo." Said Brian.

"I'm so glad we will race in the series!" said Sonic. "On a side note, do you have any chilidogs? I'm starving."

The NASCAR officials looked at each other for a few moments.

After some uncomfortable silence, Brian said "Who do you think I am, some ordinary schmo? I'm Brian France!" He said. "And no, I don't have any chilidogs".


	3. Gotta Go Fast

Chapter 3: Gotta Go Fast.

After 1 month of preperations, Team Sonic was ready to make it's big debut. The drivers had grown accustomed to their new rides. Sonic driving Hendrick's 24, Tails in Penske's 12, Amy in Childress' new 66 team, Knuckles in Chlidress's 33, and Sticks in RAB racing's 29. They had also received the driver's suits. No one knows how they managed to squeeze their bodies into the suits.

Finally, it was time to race! Pre-event testing had shown the drivers had adapted well to NASCAR, running fast in practice sessions. In qualifying however, no driver made the front row, but their times were fast. In the Budweiser Duels, they ran at the front or near the front most of the race, but in the end, Kyle Larson was at the right place at the right time and won. Still, Sonic was 3rd. Tails 2nd, Amy 5th, Knuckles 6th, and Sticks 8th. It seemed like a promising start. Unfortunately, the drivers failed post-race inspection, meaning they would have to start from the rear of the field.

However, that would be a blessing in disguise.


	4. Sonic Speed

Chapter 4: Sonic Speed.

The day had arrived at long last for the biggest race of the year, the Daytona 500!

In a garage stall, Team Sonic was outlining their pre-race strategy.

"With us being sent to the rear, we need a strategy to help us go to the front". Said Tails.

"How about we draft together and push ourselves to the front?" Said Sonic before biting into a chilidog.

"Great!" said everyone.

Meanwhile, on a certain racing forum, an interesting comment chain was going on.

Daniel Posted: (11:50 Am)

Go Gordon!

David Posted: (11:50 AM)

This might sound crazy but…

I've heard some people saying that Chase Elliott is actually Sonic The Hedgehog in disguise, and that Ryan Blaney is Tails, Brian Scott is Amy, Ty Dillon is Knuckles, and James Buscher is Sticks. What stuff are these people on?

Hinch5 Posted (11:51 AM)

Well, I have heard people talking about a portal opening up by the NASCAR headquarters about a month ago, but those people are probably wrong. I mean seriously, Sonic The Hedgehog in NASCAR? Sounds like the stuff of some dumb fan-fiction.

Racefangurl posted (11:51 AM)

I wonder how Team Can't Touch This will fare after Zach Buckner mysteriously vanished. The Hapster, Double A, My Son, Eazy-B, and DJ Craze are all great drivers, but how will the team's new owner, Jody Ridley, affect its performance?

MAR Posted (11:52 AM)

It would be weird if

Sonic was in nascar because

He's a video game character.

Back at the track…

Soon after, at noon, the familiar opening notes of the NFL theme signaled the beginning of FOX's race coverage.

"Welcome to the Daytona International Speedway for the first race of the year, the Daytona 500!" Mike Joy said, introducing the millions of viewers across the world to the race.

"Over 100,000 fans have gathered here to watch 43 of NASCAR's finest race 200 laps for the win, and many more watching on TV or the Internet."

"Hello everyone, Mike Joy here. Alongside me, we have 4 time champion Darrell Waltrip. Now, joining me with him would be Zach Buckner, until he… mysteriously disappeared.

Meanwhile in Sonic land:

"So, what's it gonna be today, Grandaddy-E? asked Zach Buckner.

"STOP CALLING ME THAT!" Screamed Eggman.

Back on Earth…

"So, instead, joining me and Waltrip is former NASCAR driver Jeff Gordon!"

"Thanks Mike. Now, I think the main story of this race is the rookie class of 2016. Ever since I started driving, I have never seen a rookie class so expansive and with so much potential. Chase Elliott, in fact, is driving for my old number 24!" Said Jeff

"Ryan Blaney, Brian Scott, and Ty Dillon also have competitive rides. James Buscher is driving for an upstart team, but I think He'll do well."

"Thanks Jeff." said Darrell. "Now, there have been lots of rumors over the past month that the entire rookie class are actually characters from the Sonic The Hedgehog games! How stupid is that!"

"Well, I've heard some crazy things on the internet, but this is just ridiculous." said Mike.

"Anyway, I think that Chase Elliott is definitely my pick to win the race." said Darrell

Meanwhile on a racing forum

racefangurl posted: (12:05 PM)

That's impossible! Darrell Waltrip just said that Chase Elliott would win. Who does he think he is? Rookies don't win NASCAR races. Open wheel, that's a different story.

Back at daytona, The pre-race show rambled on for about an hour, consisting of lots of talk about topics like Danica Patrick's awesomeness even though she was demoted to the uber bad Team Xtreme.

All the while, Sonic and friends were getting ready for the race.

During driver introductions, suspisions continued to arise as "Chase Elliott" was introduced with the song "Escape From The City", "Ryan Blaney" was introduced with "Gotta Go Fast", "Brian Scott" was introduced with "Green Hill Zone" , "Ty Dillon" Was introduced with the Sonic Boom theme, and "James Buscher" was introduced with the AOSTH theme.

And the suspicions continued to rise when Sonic made some questionable pre-race comments when interviewed by Matt Yocum.

"One of our rookies for this year is with Matt Yocum." said Mike Joy.

"Thanks Mike, i'm standing with Chase Elliott, who this year is the new driver for Hendrick Motorsports number 24 after Jeff Gordon retired. I know you started from the back, but do you think that you are capable of winning?" asked Matt

"My car is great and all, but I'm not happy with these fire suits. They makes my arms look blue, and my arms aren't blue." said "Chase"

"Well alright then. Interesting words from Chase Elliott." Said Matt Yocum, before leaving with a puzzled look on his face.

Finally, it was time for the national anthem, done by Tim Storms. He belted out a string of negative first octave notes, but everyone applauded because they were too drunk to know what was going on.

Soon after, the command was given.

"And now, for the most famous words in motorsports, please welcome, assistant manager of the 17th branch of Bank Of America in Wisconsin, John Gorman!"

A couple of people applauded.

"Drivers, start your engines." he said in a flat monotone voice.

Everyone applauded.

Sonic and friends got in their cars, put on their tinted helmets to hide their face, and rolled off with everyone else.

The front row for the race consisted of defending Sprint Cup champion Joey Logano and 6 time champion Jimmie Johnson. For the first time since 2012, said front row had no rumors of rigging.

Finally, at long last, Darrell Waltrip said "BOOGITY BOOGITY! Lets go racing in 2016!" kicking off the race which no one knew at the time would change not only NASCAR, but the entire world, forever.

At the start of the race, the field mostly consisted of one big pack with some stragglers in the back. The front was a dogfight between numerous drivers, including Kurt and Kyle Busch, Brian Vickers, a surprising Josh Wise, Carl Edwards, and Austin Dillon.

Meanwhile, Sonic, Tails, Amy, Knuckles, and Sticks were currentlly not together, running as stragglers in the back after 50 laps after having lost the draft at lap 40. However, they soon started their strategy. During a round of green flag stops, Team Sonic came to pit road together, with all 5 changing tires and fuel. They all had decently quick stops, as Sonic got away in 13.6 seconds, Tails in 13.4, Amy leading the charge with a 13.1 second stop, Knuckles in 13.7, and Sticks in 13.5. Once they exited pit road, they got into a line of cars, with Amy in front, then Tails, Sticks, Sonic, and Knuckles in that order. At this point, they were almost a lap down in 36th-40th place, and were in danger of getting lapped. Thankfully, a caution came out on lap 56 for a crash involving Michael McDowell, J.J Yeley, and A.J Allmendinger. The caution allowed Sonic and crew to stay on the lead lap, and were now right with the lead pack.

When the green dropped, Sonic and crew quickly went single file, with Tails now leading Amy, Sonic, Sticks, and Knuckles, who were in 33rd-37th place. Running at the tail end of the pack, It didn't look good for their victory hopes, but they soon managed to form an outside line and slowly went through the field. By lap 71, they were in 21st-25th place.

Meanwhile. Kevin Harvick was the class of the field, leading much of the next 60 laps. Sonic and Co. were lagging back in 20th-25th place. They needed a miracle if they wanted to work their way into contention.

They got one.

On lap 134, Kyle Larson, leading the outside charge, was closing on Kevin Harvick. Harvick tried to move up to the high side to block Larson, but Larson was already alongside. The two cars touched, starting a massive 20 car pileup that sent Ricky Stenhouse Jr. flying through the air. Sonic and Co. were behind the accident and managed to take the lead.

One certain person wasn't happy with this.

Everyday NASCAR posted: (3:15 PM)

Why is everyone making such a big deal out of this? It's obvious that the Illuminati rigged this race to have an all rookie top 5 as part of their master plan! Wake up sheeple! Fight the powers of Illuminati!

The comment promptly received 200 thumbs down.

After a 30 minute red, the race went green. Knuckles was now in the lead, followed by Sonic, Amy, Tails, and Sticks. The drivers worked together to push themselves away from the pack, then would decide it between themselves. With 45 laps to go, they were 5 seconds clear of the remainder of the field.

However, their plans were foiled when a caution came out for a HUGE piece of debris that wrecked Ryan Newman and Paul Menard.

People still thought it was rigged to bunch up the field.

The teams headed to pit road for the final stop of the day. Off of pit road, the team had good pit stops. Sonic was away in 12.4 seconds, Tails in 12.8, Knuckles in 13.1, Amy in 12.3, and Sticks leading with 12.2. They were all beat out, however, by Kyle Busch, who gambled on taking two tires instead of four.

The race restarted with just 32 laps to go. Kyle Busch led the outside, with Sonic leading the inside. Sonic and the inside line tried and tried again to pass Kyle Busch, but he kept blocking them. The action kept the many fans in the stands on their feet, with Kyle moving all around the track. It was looking like Sonic and gang would have to settle for second.

Finally, with 5 laps to go, the action heated up even more.

Kyle Busch was still moving around to protect his position and get the win at the track which injured his legs the previous years. However, the Sonic crew finally found a foothold and got alongside. The inside and outside raced side by side over the next few laps. No one knew who would get the win!

On the second to last lap, a third line, led by Trevor Bayne, made it three wide for the lead between Busch, Sonic, and Bayne. The fans couldn't get enough. The white flag flew. Sonic tried to side up the track to block, but Busch was already there. The two touched, but no one wrecked. Coming out of turn number four, all hell broke loose as Trevor Bayne spun out in front of Kyle Busch, and as the field self-destructed behind them, Sonic, Tails, Amy, Knuckles, and Sticks finished a storybook 1-2-3-4-5 to cheers from the crowd.

However, no one knew of their secret.


	5. A True Blue Reveal

Chapter 5: A True Blue Reveal.

As soon as the race ended, people were already talking about this storybook victory.

"What an amazing story to talk about!. Rookies Chase Elliott, Ryan Blaney, Brian Scott, Ty Dillon, and James Buscher sweeping the top 5!" Said Mike Joy, watching as Sonic did a spectacular burnout. Fans became very confused as Tails, Amy, Knuckles, and Sticks did burnouts with them.

"I don't think i've seen such a spectacular storybook ending since the time we set up an artifical debris caution to allow Brett Moffit to win." Said Darrell Waltrip, before realizing he had said too much.

"Wait. Was my microphone on for that time?" Asked Darrell.

"I'm afraid so". Said Larry McReynolds.

"Uh oh." Darrell said as a beer keg flew through the window of the broadcast booth.

Online, the response bounced back and forth between happiness, and "i told you so".

David Posted (4:45 PM)

I KNEW IT! I knew that race was rigged ever since i saw the video of the officials picking up air!

Anyway, what a great win! Rookies sweeping the top 5!

racefangurl posted (4:45 PM)

People should stop making a big deal about this! They only won because everyone else wrecked! Rookies don't win races! They're just field fillers. This will probably be the only time we'll hear of Chase Elliott, Ryan Blaney, Brian Scott, Ty Dillon, and James Buscher.

That comment recieved 50 thumbs down.

MAR Posted (4:45 PM)

Fun fact: This is the

best performance by

rookie drivers

in

NASCAR.

murb Posted (4:46 PM)

Really mad about how the Moffit win was rigged, but great performance by rookies.

The scene then shifted to the victory circle after several interviews. People didn't know it, but this would be the last minutes of normal life.

"We will now go to victory lane, where Vince Welch is with Chase Elliott." said Mike Joy.

"Thanks Mike. So, Chase Elliott, how does it feel to win your very first Daytona 500?" Asked Vince.

"It feels great to win NASCAR's biggest race, but that's not the big issue here. The real issue is that i'm not Chase Elliott. I'm Sonic. Sonic the Hedgehog!"

As he said "Sonic The Hedgehog" he took off his helmet, revealing himself as the over 100,000 fans in the stands gasped. Some fainted.

The many Sonic fans in the stands cheered louder than anyone else.

"And Ryan Blaney is Tails, Brian Scott is Amy, Ty Dillon is Knuckles, and James Buscher is Sticks!" The fans had never seen anything this crazy.

The announcers were speechless.

After standing in shocked silence for 5 whole minutes, with the cameraman not changing angle because he was so shocked, they finally talked.

"I've seen some crazy things in my life, but fictional characters sweeping the top 5? Unbelievable. " said Mike Joy.

"This even beats out the time when we rigged it so there was- " said Darrell before being slapped across the face by Larry McReynolds.

"Shut up!" Said McReynolds.

"I must be on something right now". He said soon after.

Online, responses were also shocked.

joey2448 posted (5:01 PM)

I... don't know what to say. I must be dreaming. I'll pinch myself.

UPDATE: Wide awake.

MAR posted (5:01 PM)

This is the

weirdest thing

i have ever

seen.

David posted (5:02 PM)

What the hell? Sonic coming to our world?

I guess the rumors were true.

And the response spread beyond the racing community and into the Sonic forums.

Bluearmsrock posted:

This is undoubtedly the greatest day of my life. I have always dreamed of Sonic coming to our world, and i guess dreams can come true.

Sallysoulsucker posted:

What a crazy day.

AthleticTape posted:  
This will be a day that will be treasured in the hearts of Sonic fans. I've never watched NASCAR before, but now i definitely will.

Meanwhile, Brian France was looking at these reactions and beaming. "We're bringing new fans to NASCAR!"

Everyone in the conference room cheered.


	6. Ready For Round 2?

Chapter 6: Ready for Round 2?

After the day that changed everything, Sonic, which was already a legendary video game franchise, especially with it's 25th Anniversary, became even more popular.

Sonic and cohorts were on TV show after show, magazine after magazine, website after website.

Chipotle started selling special "Knuckles The Enchilada" sandwiches, which recieved mixed reception, with some complaining it was too much like their regular enchiladas, but colored red.

Sonic announced that the 24, 12, 33,66, and 29 teams would be brought under the umbrella of "Team Sonic", with the real Chase Elliott, Ryan Blaney, Brian Scott, Ty Dillon, and James Buscher taking the old rides, numbered 24-A, 12-A, 33-A, 66-A, and 29-A. Sonic, Tails, Amy, and Knuckles would contest the full season, with Sticks running the restrictor plate races. The alignment was supposedly because Sticks "sucked eggs", according to a survey conducted, much to the chagrin of a certain Peladophobian, who appreciated Stick's penchant for making up crappy conspiracies.

SEGA announced that they would release a special "Sonic vs NASCAR" racing game.

Sonic talked about how he had picked up sponsorship from Sonic Drive-In, as did Tails. Amy now had sponsorship from Hammers R Us, Knuckles from Raging 'Roids, which he insisted wasn't a steroids company, and Sticks had limited sponsorship from Illuminati Is For Real, LLC.

After a week of hoopla, it was back to business, as drivers headed off to the next race at Atlanta, the Happy Family Happy Hour 400.

The insanity for the race was at it's peak. Crowds were at record levels, with many people coming being Sonic fans who had never even heard of NASCAR before! Many joked about how since it was round 2, sonic. exe might make a appearance. Many dismissed it as ballyhoo, but some believed it, saying that if Sonic and friends had come to the real world, why not?

FOX had revised it's presentation package for the race. "Gotta Go Fast" had become the intro song, much to the chagrin of Sonic X haters around the globe. The ticker now showed pictures of Sonic and friend's heads next to their names, and the races were now presented by Chipotle, which they called "The Official Licensed Enchilada maker of NASCAR".

For qualifying, thousands of people watched, rooting for Sonic and his friends to sweep the top 4. They turned out to be sorely disappointed, as while Sonic, Tails, Amy, and Knuckles qualified well, they didn't get the pole, with that honor going to a surprising Matt DiBenedetto, much to the chagrin of user DiBenedetto RIP (1992-2015). Amy led the Sonic crew by starting 2nd, Sonic qualified 5th, Knuckles in 8th, and Tails a disappointing 12th. The important thing was, they were solidly in the field. In a crazy twist of irony, Brian Scott, who Amy masqueraded as at Daytona, was unable to make the field!

Now, it was time for the race itself. During driver introductions, Sonicmania continued, as Sonic, Tails, Amy, and Knuckles received absolutely thunderous cheers from the crowd, while other drivers got a modest reaction at best.

The national anthem was provided by Nicola Sedda and Georgia Brown, who reportedly caused 24,000 fans ears to bleed with their ear-splitting screeching. Despite that, they were still voted the "Best Anthem of 2016 Award" thanks to their "So bad, it's good" charm. At long last, the race was about to begin, and many hoped that a Team Sonic member would win the race.

At the start, Amy seemed to fulfill that goal, taking the lead on lap 6 when Matt DiBenedetto dropped out due to a flung grenade, and holding it for the next 67 laps. Unfortunately, while leading on lap 73, she went to pit road for a routine stop. During the stop, she messed up, stalling the car while exiting. Out of frustration, she went back to pit road on the very next lap, got out, and smashed the car with her hammer before sobbing in a corner. This incident quickly gave Amy the nickname "Kim Karsmashian" and she soon lost the respect of many fans after quite possibly the strangest DNF in NASCAR history.

For the remainder of the race, Sonic and Tails battled with Dale Earnhardt Jr, who had made a comeback thanks to "DJ Craze" falling out of fashion as a nickname. The fans were on their feet with the exciting racing. A year prior, everyone would have been rooting for Dale, but now, everyone was rooting for Sonic and Tails.

The laps clicked off. Jr., Sonic, and Tails kept on battling for the lead, no one leading for more than 5 laps at a time. 10 to go. 9 to go. 8 to go. The battling continued in probably the best race of the year, even though the season had just begun.

Soon enough, it was the white flag lap. Dale Earnhardt Jr. was in the lead, but he, Sonic, and Tails were running bumper to bumper to bumper. Going into turn 1, Sonic held the outside line and took the lead of the race. However, going into turn number 3, Dale Earnhardt Jr. dove down low and got along side. The two raced side by side to the line. People were wondering who had won. After some analysis, it was announced, much to the fans dismay, that Dale Earnhardt Jr. was the winner by .001 seconds, the closest finish in NASCAR history. His burnout was met from boos and booze from the fans.

In victory lane, Dale Jr. started giving his speech, but before he could finish, someone screamed "DJ CRAZE!" This led everyone to start chanting "DJ Craze! DJ Craze! DJ Craze!" Dale buried his hands in his head and ran away.

He announced his retirement the next day.

Still, Sonic was at the top of the points, and Tails was second. Amy was 19th, however, and Knuckles, after dropping out due to a blown engine, a disappointing 34th. There was room for improvement, but many thought the gang would succeed.


	7. An Unsettling Discovery

Chapter 7: An Unsettling Discovery.

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: THIS IS A VERY IMPORTANT CHAPTER IN THE STORY**.

Date: March 4, 2016

Meanwhile at NASA's manned space flight center, scientists were just hanging around. They haven't done anything since NASA realized it cared more about finding life on Mars even though there isn't than actually doing things worth a damn.

Two scientists named Julian and Kenny were sitting in their chairs, playing Candy Crush Saga on their hip, trendy new Iphone 6S phones, which are pretty much the same as any other. Julian had just lost his game.

"Thanks Obama". Said Julian.

"Why do you blame Obama for everything bad that happens?" Asked Kenny.

"Because he is the reason why we do nothing here!"

"Can you stop being so uber-conservative for 1 second, Julian?"

"I can say the same to your Uber-liberalism, Kenny!"

Just before they were going to break out into a full-on political debate, Lead scientist Samantha walked through the door.

"Everyone, come to the conference room quick. We have a very disturbing discovery" She said.

"I bet it's about Obama's shape shifting reptilian bodyguards". Said Julian, laughing

"Shut your cryhole". Said Kenny.

They filed in to the conference room.

Samantha started speaking.

"We have detected an anomaly in subspace".

"Don't you mean spacetime?" Said Kenny.

"Yes, but subspace just sounds cooler".

"So what is the problem?"

"It seems that the anomaly is coming from the Sonic The Hedgehog dimension"

"So that's why Sonic and pals are in NASCAR now?" Asked Darren, a big NASCAR fan.

"Yep".

"The two realities will soon start merging together, and will complete on November 20th".

"That's when NASCAR's finale is!"

"So what can we do about it?" Asked Julian.

"We don't know. We also don't know what this means for our world. Will the realities merge seamlessly, or will things get crazy?"

"I'm guessing the latter. I mean, Sonic and friends in NASCAR is crazy enough, but the realities merging sounds like something out of a fanboy's dreams, and not in a good way".

"What's important is that we should keep this information classified, so that panic doesn't ensue".

"We'll try".

The conference ended, and the scientists went back to doing nothing at all.

However, Julian was actually the son of Wikileaks founder Julian Assange.

After he went back home, he called up his dad and told him the news.

"Hi dad!"

"Hi son! How was your day?"

"Well, it's pretty interesting. You've heard of Sonic the Hedgehog racing in NASCAR, right?"

"Yeah, i've heard of it".

"Well, apparently, the worlds of Sonic and Earth have started to merge, and will be completely combined by November 20th! NASA is keeping this a secret so no panic ensues!"

"Wow! This is perfect material for WikiLeaks!"

"I know, right? Anyway, goodbye, and good luck with your new WikiLeaks article!"

He hang up.

Meanwhile, the senior Julian went to work on his website. He decided that the issue was important enough for it's own website, so he created . The contents of this page, written in bolded, italicized, capitalized, AND underlined text, were as follows.

_**IMPORTANT!**_

_**UNTOLD CATASTROPHE TO STRIKE!**_

_**THE REALITIES OF SONIC'S WORLD AND OUR WORLD ARE MERGING!**_

_**WHO KNOWS WHAT WILL HAPPEN?  
**_

_**THE GOVERNMENT IS KEEPING THIS A SECRET, BUT YOU KNOW THEM!**_

_**WE MUST SPREAD THE WORD ABOUT THIS CATASTROPHE AT ONCE!**_

_**MY SON WORKS FOR NASA, SO HE KNOWS THE TRUTH ABOUT THE WORLD!  
**_

_**YOU MIGHT THINK I'M CRAZY, BUT NEWS FLASH: YOUR WRONG!**_

_**WHY ELSE ARE SONIC AND FRIENDS RACING AND WINNING IN THE NASCAR SPRINT CUP SERIES? HUH? HUH?!**_

_**PLEASE BELIEVE ME!**_

**_SINCERELY: MR. TRUTH_**

As expected, everyone took it as a crazy conspiracy theory, but what they didn't know was that it was the truth...


	8. THIS FANFICTION IS OVER

Hey guys, I just want to let you know that this fanfiction is CANCELLED.

The reasons are:

A: Out of date, now that the season's started

B: Lack of interest

C: Writers block

and D: The idea was pretty stupid

So yeah.


End file.
